1. “A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.”
2. 'A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake.'
3. "Always make the audience suffer as much as possible"]
4. “Conversation is the enemy of good wine and food.”
5. “Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.”
6. "Disney has the best casting. If he doesn't like an actor he just tears him up."
7. “Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.”
8. “For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake.”
9. “Give them pleasure the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.”
10. “I am a typed director. If I made "Cinderella," the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.”
11. “I am scared easily, here is a list of my adrenaline - production: 1: small children, 2: policemen, 3: high places, 4: that my next movie will not be as good as the last one.”
12. "I didn't say actors are cattle. What I said was, actors should be treated like cattle."
13. “I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.”
14. “In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don’t want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.”
15. "I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
16. 'Once a man commits himself to murder, he will soon find himself stealing. The next step will be alcoholism, disrespect for the Sabbath and from there on it will lead to rude behaviour. As soon as you set the first steps on the path to destruction you will never know where you will end. Lots of people owe their downfall to a murder they once committed and weren't too pleased with at the time.' ~
17. “Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.”
18. "Self-plagiarism is style."
19. "Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table"
20."Television has brought murder back into the home - where it belongs"
21. “Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.”
22. “Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.”
23. “The best actor is the man who can do nothing extremely well.”
24.“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
25. "There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game."
26.“There's nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.”
27. ”This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop.”
28.“We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.”
