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RULES, by the Observation of which, a Man of Wit and Learning, may
nonetheless make himself a disagreeable Companion.
Your Business is to shine; therefore you must by all means prevent the
shining of others, for their Brightness may make yours the less
distinguished. To this End:
1. If possible engross the whole Discourse; and when other Matter
fails, talk much of yourself, your Education, your Knowledge, your
Circumstances, your Successes in Business, your Victories in Disputes,
your own wise sayings and Observations on particular Occasions, &c.
&c. &c.
2. If when you are out of Breath, one of the Company should seize
the Opportunity of saying something; watch his Words, and, if
possible, find somewhat either in his Sentiments or Expression,
immediately to contradict and raise a Dispute upon. Rather than fail,
criticise even his Grammar.
3. If another should be saying an indisputably good Thing; either
give no Attention to it; or interrupt him; or draw away the Attention
of others; or, if you can guess what he would be at, be quick and say
it before him; or, if he gets it said, and you perceive the Company
pleased with it, own it to be a good Thing, and withal remark that it
had been said by Bacon, Locke, Bayle, or some other eminent Writer;
thus you deprive him of the Reputation he might have gained by it, and
gain some yourself, as you hereby show your great Reading and Memory.
4. When modest Men have been thus treated by you a few times,
they will choose ever after to be silent in your Company; then you may
shine on without Fear of a Rival; rallying them at the same time for
their Dullness, which will be to you a new Fund of Wit.
Thus you will be sure to please _yourself_. The polite Man aims
at pleasing _others_, but you shall go beyond him even in that. A Man
can be present only in one Company, but may at the same time be absent
in twenty. He can please only where he is, you wherever you are
_not_.
Benjamin Franklin - 1750 - As quoted in _Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School_, Carl Japikse, ed., 1990
nonetheless make himself a disagreeable Companion.
Your Business is to shine; therefore you must by all means prevent the
shining of others, for their Brightness may make yours the less
distinguished. To this End:
1. If possible engross the whole Discourse; and when other Matter
fails, talk much of yourself, your Education, your Knowledge, your
Circumstances, your Successes in Business, your Victories in Disputes,
your own wise sayings and Observations on particular Occasions, &c.
&c. &c.
2. If when you are out of Breath, one of the Company should seize
the Opportunity of saying something; watch his Words, and, if
possible, find somewhat either in his Sentiments or Expression,
immediately to contradict and raise a Dispute upon. Rather than fail,
criticise even his Grammar.
3. If another should be saying an indisputably good Thing; either
give no Attention to it; or interrupt him; or draw away the Attention
of others; or, if you can guess what he would be at, be quick and say
it before him; or, if he gets it said, and you perceive the Company
pleased with it, own it to be a good Thing, and withal remark that it
had been said by Bacon, Locke, Bayle, or some other eminent Writer;
thus you deprive him of the Reputation he might have gained by it, and
gain some yourself, as you hereby show your great Reading and Memory.
4. When modest Men have been thus treated by you a few times,
they will choose ever after to be silent in your Company; then you may
shine on without Fear of a Rival; rallying them at the same time for
their Dullness, which will be to you a new Fund of Wit.
Thus you will be sure to please _yourself_. The polite Man aims
at pleasing _others_, but you shall go beyond him even in that. A Man
can be present only in one Company, but may at the same time be absent
in twenty. He can please only where he is, you wherever you are
_not_.
Benjamin Franklin - 1750 - As quoted in _Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School_, Carl Japikse, ed., 1990
