1. “Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
2. “Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”
3. ”Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.”
4. “Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”
5. ”Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
6. “Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Gluttony, or, as we call them these days, "geetting in touch with your sexuality," "raising your self-esteem," "relaxation therapy," and "being a recovered bulimic."”
7. "Never fight an inanimate object."
8. ”Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
9. "There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed.. Trouble doesn't come from Slopes, Kikes, Niggers, Spics or White Capitalist Pigs: it comes from the heart."
10. “When you had to carve things in stone, you got the Ten Commandments. When things had to be written with a goose quill and you had to boil blood or whatever to make ink, you got Shakespeare. When you went over to the steel pen and manufactured inks, you got Henry James. You get to the typewriter, you get Jack Kerouac. When you get down to the wordprocessor - you get me. So improvement in the technology of writing hasn't improved writing itself, as far as I can tell.”
