Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer
the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel
and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop
that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
"Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars
he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in
time with your stockholders,' you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
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Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm
129."
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself
to remove his hand.
However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on
while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129."
Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is
weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible
and looked up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a great
opportunity.
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Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give you
one each."
"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She's gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss speak first.
(From the "Joanna´s Jokes" Yahoo Mailing list)
